Tuesday, August 6, 2013

я тебе дуже люблю

я тебе дуже люблю

Do you know what that says? 

I knew immediately when I saw it. For, I have typed those four words into our messenger many, many, many times. I have never received it from the other side. Until today. 

Lena and I were chatting and I was trying to get some information from her. When we couldn't seem to get the communication after I asked a question 3 times and she sent three answers that just didn't match my question..... We seemed to both be frustrated so I sent a funny looking self- pic while taking a walk.... and then that beautiful phrase appeared on the screen, it translates to "I love you very much" 

My heart jumped. It no longer matters that we never got the communication clear. That I still don't have an answer to the question I was trying to ask. She loves me. That is enough. I remember when Josiah started saying "I love you." I remember when Lydia started returning kisses (those awesome baby slobbery open-mouth kisses)..... And now I am so excited to read "I love you very much" on a screen. 

Ronnie had someone start to tell him how "complicated" life was about to be for us this weekend. With an eyebrow cocked to one side, she glanced at Lydia and asked how old she was.. Watched as Josiah ran to play and asked his age as well.... Then said - with a bit of sarcastic laughter in her voice "and you are getting a teenager?" Ronnie said "yes." 

She responded "your life will be complicated! Do you realize how tough this will be?" 

Ronnie started to ask her a lot of sarcastic questions, but, instead, he said "yes ma'am, it's already complicated." She laughed at him and continued with a description of how life will be soooo different, and hard, and etc. etc. 

I wonder if she walked away feeling like she had told him something that had not crossed our mind yet? Did she feel as if she had encouraged someone who is doing what they feel God has called them to? Does she know what it feels like to read something like "я тебе дуже люблю" on a screen? Has she been so unfortunate as to not have had a complicated life? 

We, like most other adoptive parents, didn't choose this for the ease of adoption. We didn't think it would be a smooth ride. But you know what else is complicated? Singleness.... and Marriage. And pregnancy. Trust me, having two miscarriages was complicated! And one biological child, or two biological children..... Or any number of biological children for that matter. And parents, siblings, family and friendships. Not always easy. Life. life should be complicated, for anytime you decide to love, the risk of complication comes along with it. Love is amazing. Love is beautiful. Love never fails. But love is scary, for love takes risk. Love - takes a part of your heart and trusts it to someone with no guarantees that they will care for it as you want them to. But love is what we are commanded to do. Love is what He did for us. Love is Christ. 

Love doesn't always look the same for everyone. Love can be shown differently in different cultures and in different relationships, but it is unmistakable. 

It doesn't make sense to some that we can love a precious girl that we have known for such a short time. 

It doesn't make sense that a pregnant mother can love the child when the only evidence is two lines on a  test stick. 

It doesn't make sense that Christ loved us when we didn't yet love Him, and He gave His life. 

So, love, it seems, is always complicated, usually doesn't make sense and yet is commanded. We see ourselves as privileged to be chosen by God to be the parents of Josiah, Lydia and soon, Lena. We are thrilled that our family is complicated! Christ, in his commandment to love others as you love yourself, guaranteed that we would live complicated lives. 

How bored would we be without some complication?? 

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful way to word this! How wonderful to have a complicated life. Praying for you all!