Blessed

Waiting isn't easy. It is actually harder than I ever imagined, sometimes, at night, there is such a weight in my chest that I feel physical pain across my shoulders, back, and chest. The stress of the last 4 weeks has been more than I believe I have ever experienced. 

Tomorrow we will try one last time to get our papers in to be filed before the holiday starts here. If we miss tomorrow, or there is another problem with a paper, we will have to re-evaluate our plan.... And I don't even want to think about what options will have to be on the table as far as our timeline. 

So far everyone that needs to help us tomorrow has said they would be willing to help, and that is apparently a big deal. Sometimes around the holidays, some people just kinda start to shut down and not want to deal with it until after... So, we hope. We pray. We try to relax and enjoy moments of peace and fun with our family complete. It's really pretty crazy.... Josiah and Lydia even sleep better when Lena is with us! 

Tonight, after church, we ate some quick dinner, and then got on the metro to head home. We were on the metro with another adoptive mom who is staying in the house with us, her daughter, and the couple that we live with... Who are the pastors of the church. 

I was walking out of the metro towards their car and Josiah was holding the hands of the pastor and his wife, walking between them...  I was holding Lydia, and Lena was laughing with the other adopted girl.... It was a moment that i could just sit back and watch. 

The only word that came to my mind was "blessed." 

In the middle of a country straining under the pressure of finding middle ground... In the middle of a nightmare of paperwork in an adoption process... With language and being complicated at best... We are staying in a home with people that feel like family... Who love on my kids... And my kids love them... 

We are blessed. 

Our relationship with Lena is progressing very well. We love her so much.... She responds to us very well, both in the fun moments, and in the moments of correction. She already takes care of Josiah and Lydia..... And also drives them crazy like a big sister should do. They do their share of frustrating her too when they wake her up in the mornings..... I sit back and smile :) 

We are blessed. 

We had a Christmas party here his weekend with other adoptive families... We had chocolate chip cookies, salads, chips and drinks, just like we would have had in the US.... The kids played (some on their electronics) we took photos in front of the Christmas tree... Just like you guys have been doing over the last month. 

We are blessed. 

We chose Lena's court dress today, and we went to buy her shoes to go with it tonight. She didn't pick anything like I would have chosen..... But isn't that typical for a teenager? :) (shoes have some awesome prices here! We got some fun ankle boots for her for about $8!!) 

I am blessed.