But today I bought two belts and 4 pair of socks... For her.
And this evening, I met with a precious lady who is helping me design and decorate her room, and for a few minutes, the paper work is distant, the money is not my first thought, and the timeline seems bearable.
Pink, sparkles, plaid, pompoms, glitter, chalkboards, canvass, lamps, rugs, jewelry boxes, closets.... These were all discussed this afternoon and for an hour and 15 minutes I was planning a physical location for her to live, to sleep, to grow up, to laugh in, to cry in, to fall in love, to be heartbroken (that guy will be in trouble!) to LIVE her life in. We were planning for her to be here.... And for that 75 minute timespan I was in heaven. The technicalities of adoption faded. The emotions soared.
And for THAT, I thank God.
I will NOT leave you as orphans, I will come to you.