She will be here

All the papers become mechanical, the searching for a sign of her being online becomes a source of constant disappointment, the hoping for a speedy adoption seems so far away... The fundraising, while fun and awesome to watch God put together, becomes a matter for experienced event planners. (Not me! I am So far out of my league!)

But today I bought two belts and 4 pair of socks... For her. 

And this evening, I met with a precious lady who is helping me design and decorate her room, and for a few minutes, the paper work is distant, the money is not my first thought, and the timeline seems bearable. 

Pink, sparkles, plaid, pompoms, glitter, chalkboards, canvass, lamps, rugs, jewelry boxes, closets.... These were all discussed this afternoon and for an hour and 15 minutes I was planning a physical location for her to live, to sleep, to grow up, to laugh in, to cry in, to fall in love, to be heartbroken (that guy will be in trouble!) to LIVE her life in. We were planning for her to be here.... And for that 75 minute timespan I was in heaven. The technicalities of adoption faded. The emotions soared. 

And for THAT, I thank God. 

John 14:18

I will NOT leave you as orphans, I will come to you.