I think it is harder for me to blog when my emotions are crazy. There are so many things I want to write and yet, I don't want it to come across as complicated as I am afraid it will. I back up regularly and ask myself if I am writing because I actually feel something? Or am I responding to an actual situation? Or am I just so full of questions that it seems as if writing something.... anything... might help out.
Lena misses us. She loves us. However, there are so many things that are complicated in translation right now. I think this is a bit of a double-edged sword. I think it is good, in part. She is trying to communicate some more complicated issues with us. The answers to every question aren't "normal," "good," "yes," and "thank you." There are sentences with bad "google translate" explanations. There are questions that we ask and the answer doesn't make sense. We aren't sure then if the question was written badly, or if the answer is crazy. Ronnie at least has an understanding of the language - mainly - the alphabet. He can find words and derivatives in the Russian/English dictionary. I tried that the other day and the first word took 9 minutes. 9 minutes to figure out one word means that by the time I could respond, she was gone. Conversations with her online often end with her just simply disappearing. I am not sure if she is on a time limit, or if her internet just cuts out, or if this is cultural. I write "I love you" often, just in case she disappears before I can write my next sentence.
She doesn't understand why we can't come in September. We try to explain. I don't think it works. Saying "we are waiting for the Ukrainian government to invite us." seems to never translate well... because her next question is always, "when will you come?"
Yesterday she asked when we would come - I said "hopefully December or January." She responded by reminding me that her birthday is in November.... If she could only know how badly I want to be there for her birthday. For this weekend.... for today.
It is worth it. It is hard already, but it is worth it.